I always thought I was a nice person in high school. I never made fun of anyone – especially the people normally targeted.
I had some moments with the girls in the grade below me who were conniving, manipulative, devious and just plain mean people. But that’s really only because I don’t take well to people treating other people like crap just because they think they’re better than everyone. That’s just not right.
But sometimes, for reasons still unknown to me, I wasn’t liked by a lot of girls. Maybe it’s because I was pretty. Or because I played sports. Or because I got good grades (because I worked hard to get those good grades). I tried to be honest, friendly and kind. I didn’t do anything illegal and I was considered the “goody-good” by just about everyone – to my chagrin.
And it seems, right after high school, the girlfriends I did have in high school would always do stuff but not invite me. Which just vexed me. And…still to this day…just about 10 years later, I am still being left out of stuff.
I loved and still love all those girls. I always want to be a part of stuff they do. But I am never invited. I am never thought of. And I just don’t know why.
Oh well. I guess life goes on. I know I should just try and ignore it. But it’s hard. I have one good girlfriend – but even she has grown too busy for me with being a mom, getting ready to have another baby, having a boyfriend and dealing with the most ridiculously crazy job I’ve ever heard of.
I’m just being whiny right now…I know. I could invite myself to some things – but that’s not really my style. I just need to take a deep breath and realize that people and relationships change. There's nothing I can do about it. I just have to hold my head up high and realize I have a lot of great guy friends who invite me to stuff – and I have my family and – the most important person to me – my husband. He’s everything I need (well, besides God above) and as long as I have him, I think I’ll be okay. :)